Aside

broken heart or blossoming flower

My Heart got broken into Pieces
And I thought I lost all my Wishes

A Voice within said don’t Despair
It is just a way to Repair

All the hurts, aches and pains that were Inside
In my Heart where they Reside

Broken pieces they not Were
But petals of a blossoming Flower

Opening up to the Shining Sun Rays
I’ve now learnt Life helps you grow in various Ways

Now with this Wisdom, I feel Free and Light
I think the Voice was Right

Not carrying anymore the baggage of my Past
I feel as if my Being got Vast

let’s get naked 3

Three parts into this and we are still hell bent on stripping ourselves bare!?! Yep! This and this will tell you why. I suggest you read from the first part.

So as we can see, we can apply the same practice to any emotional discordance that we might be having, anything that we might be struggling with. It could be past hurts, painful memories, betrayal, resentment, dogs in the sky, birds in the water, fishes on the street, you name it!

The amazing thing is once we have experienced that which we need to for enough time or sat with it frequently enough or experienced it to the maximum degree \ intensity, it won’t carry enough charge. We still might get a thought related to the entity, but it won’t bother us. It will be a passing thought just like a passing cloud in a beautiful blue sky.

And the parameters (enough time, frequently enough, up to the required intensity) varies from person to person and how much heavy the charge is.

And as strange as it may sound, the wounds are healed and forgiveness happens – forgiving others but most importantly, ourselves. Keyword here is ‘happens‘; we don’t try to forgive by thinking our way through it or justifying our hurt and the reason for it but forgiveness very naturally and automatically happens.

Don’t worry, we won’t attract, via the famous Law of Attraction, more of such feelings in our life like the one we are experiencing during a meditation session. I don’t think LoA works like that. At least I have not attracted more of that which I was\am sitting with. Instead, I’ve shed many pounds off my emotional body and boy, it looks sexy!

Let’s face it: if we don’t confront and experience it, it is STILL there in our system, in our subconscious. And as we all know, our subconscious is million times more powerful than our conscious mind (a bit of exaggeration maybe) and it almost always wins. What are the results of it winning? We let those subconscious programming and beliefs to govern our lives and attract more of what we don’t want.

And that is why I am NOT a big fan of positive affirmations. Especially when we are just beginning on our spiritual path. To me, it seems so unreal, untrue, fake!

Here in my inner world, I’m carrying a hurt “my parents have wronged me” or a belief based in fear “I will not be successful” and out there, I’m barking “I am full of love for everyone” or “I am Tom Cruise” like a mad dog!! My subconscious is not going to believe the hogwash.

We need to start from where we are, not where we want to be!

OK, some might say positive affirmations help rewire the neural paths in our brains or whatever. However, to me that seems like it is going to take a LOT of convincing and cajoling on my part to my demons within. I’d rather calm them down by giving them space to do Zumba and then use positive affirmations once I’m empty of my garbage and baggage.

I’m not completely against affirmations. However, I’ve my own timeline as to when I can let them enter my world. That’s just me. For some, it might not be the case; they are effortlessly able to land in Honolulu the very next day they affirm “I’m in Bali” 😜

So, by sitting and letting that which has been suppressed, for lifetimes after lifetimes, out we are giving it a voice, an outlet to be released. We have been taught since our childhood by our parents, teachers, society not to express our so called ‘negative’ emotions and how should we behave and what should we be doing. Not any fault of their own. They were none the wiser.

Oh mate, I so hate this word ‘should’. We should not do this, should not say that, should not cry, should not be angry, should not ride a crocodile, should not kiss a kangaroo!

Once we start going deeper, we will see that there is nothing like positive or negative, good or bad, right or wrong. And that’s what we have to learn – to master. To accept and most most most importantly love all aspects of ourselves – all polarities.

And we can only love an aspect of ourselves if we are aware of it.

“You can only wipe the dust off something if you can see it.”  TWDY

One most important block whilst we sit for any type of meditation is our mind trying to distract us. It most definitely will start throwing myriads of thoughts at us. Or we will be reminded to make an important call. Or it will try to rationalise that the person who hurt us was not actually intending to.

Sure enough. The person didn’t mean us harm. But we are NOT that person. Our truth is we are hurt. Period. We acknowledge it and start our healing process. What, why, how, when of the other person is their business, not ours. Simple as that.

The mind doesn’t want us to experience anything because it’s survival is under threat!  It’s a master deceiver! It will want us to quit and move from the present moment in countless ways! That’s just the way the mind is.

Here mindfulness can be useful in that just acknowledge the thought from the ego mind and get back to our experiencing the feeling as quickly as possible. The only way is to persevere.

Persevere and give yourself the freedom to feel and express and strip the layers off of you. Believe me, once you have mastered this, you will only smile at things that used to piss you off. And you will be in a lot more happier space. True Happiness.

So then, the question is are you ready to get naked?

let’s get naked 2

Look here first to see why do we want to get naked.

Right! So, now that we have been authentic with our own self and we have decided to meditate, what should we do?

For me, meditation was NOT some choice, but more of a compulsion. Back then I was going through a lot of fear, rage, anger, irritation, lust, sadness, sorrow and the lot.  If there ever was a fearful miserable sod, it had to be me! So I didn’t have the ‘luxury’ to sit, meditate and connect with angels and fairies (I didn’t even know they existed, well, consciously didn’t know anyway)

So then, I put into practice what my Master had taught: “sit with the what-is”. And believe me, since last 15 years, I have ‘sat’ so much that my bums cry just at the thought of it. Sorry for being graphic!

It is a bit different to mindfulness. Mindfulness, I reckon, is being in the witness state and observing the thoughts when we meditate and bring ourselves back to being a witness if distracted, right? However, with the practice that I learnt, we actually let our emotions and feelings rise to the surface and experience it in as much intensity as is possible for us in the moment.

Let me explain. As we sit to meditate, we need to take an honest stock of what’s in there and how we are feeling in the moment. There must be at least one thing (most likely a person) in our current life period that’s pushing our buttons, that’s bugging us (unless we are living in Himalayas all alone. Well, even then, there will always be one mountain goat to ruffle our feathers! Bugger.)

Having said that, the most important thing to bear in mind is those who are pushing our buttons are NOT to be blamed. It’s NOT them who trigger something in us but they are only holding a mirror for us to see what we need to acknowledge, accept, heal and love within us; those qualities of ours we find it hard to accept and integrate.

“So, I can’t blame anyone?” No! “Seriously?” Yes. “Not even for like half a minute?” No. “Oh, bummer! I better keep that index finger in check then?!” Absolutely.

Fun fact: hence the meditation mudra (posture) of touching the index finger to our thumb.

Most often than not, as we sit, we will NOT have to go in search of a person, event or incident (let’s call any of this an entity) that’s driving us bonkers. It will automatically reveal itself. Just a thought of that entity is enough for us to start feeling the feeling(s)(fear, anger, hatred, resentment etc etc.)

So whatever feeling arises, we breathe into it. We don’t let it go. We hold it close, gently but firmly. We become acutely aware of it. We don’t judge or criticise or condemn or justify it. We experience it and let the intensity increase without budging. We give it space to open itself up and express itself.

As we do this, we might feel some sort of discomfort and sensations in our body. Maybe we are getting short of breath or we might start having pain somewhere in our body. In whatever form it gets represented, whatever it is, we stay with it.

We let the shortness of breath continue. We let the pain increase to such a degree that

WE BECOME THAT FEELING, THAT PAIN! WE BECOME ONE WITH THAT FEELING. So in essence, now we ARE NOT experiencing the feeling but we ARE that feeling. We don’t pay as much attention to thoughts now as to the feelings and sensations.

Let’s say we are working on fear, fear of losing our job for eg. So we let the fear rise. The thought of losing the job is real and so the fear (even though an illusion) is real for us in that moment. So instead of rationalising it or trying to be philosophical about it or trying to take our focus off it by shouting positive affirmations from the rooftops, we go right into the fear and confront it head-on! We face it.

“let the tiger eat you completely”  Shri Bhagavan

And as we go deeper in this, we might start getting more fear about other things. Fear of rejection. Fear of failure. Fear of owning our power. Fear of voicing our opinion. Fear of losing someone. Fear of death even! Do not stop it, let it continue. ‘The more the merrier’ if we really crave for freedom!

The thing to understand is fear is fear. The content (subject of the fear in our case) of the energy packet (the feeling) that we are sitting with may be different. But the common denominator is the same in all of them. Replace Fear A with Fear B and you still have Fear. So it’s not A or B that is an issue.

We need to bear in mind that the content is not important and our focus should be on the energy packet when we sit with it.

Another example: let’s say, we are feeling jealous of our friend or colleague (we can all relate to this, can’t we? ;)) So we start with that subject (person X) and dive deeper into the ocean of jealousy (oh, how very wonderful!! Not!!) And when we have stayed enough time with “being jealous of person X”, we will see, it will automatically bring into our awareness other people whom we feel jealous of.

Post is getting longer, let’s jump here